MY FIRST BLOG
It's in these moments of solitude, that I start questioning the very existence of relations; for I, most verbose, most insouciant, have been left in times like by these not by my own accord but by these very relations that I used to consider dearest or rather "YOU" consider dearest.
All my heart seems to grow cold and all my happiness seems to be drained out of my heart just like water flowing through a muslin cloth leaving only the dirt behind. And I cling on to that dirt, just like many people cling on to their hope never to let go. It is strange to see how we let people to see our darkest sides as well as our joyous one, how we let them in, start loving them and ultimately end up getting hurt by them. Mostly, people tell me that it is all a part of life. But then i question myself if I have to feel sad, why should someone else be the reason for it. Am I not responsible for all that goes on in my life?
It's as if the dementors of loneliness have started sucking out my soul and I cannot seem to produce my PATRONUS CHARM! We all love solitude, let's face it; we all get to know ourselves better and have peace when we are all by ourselves. i most certainly do. Te problem I have is that people have always comforted me with words of warmth of always being with me, however, when the time has come all I have seen by my side is the abundance of darkness and blank spaces. My life has been full of voids that are yet to be filled and y e very behavior of people towards me, I question whether they will ever fill or not. And that has led me to isolate myself from this society of HOMO SAPIENS. I've seemed to have found more peace with a dog, with my basketball and my football than I ever could with another being of the same existence.
I all of a sudden, need more elbow room and fewer encumbrances of the human emotions and much more of ME! And people tell me it's good; which I already seem to know. The fact that I don't get is that the same people tell me to socialize more often. Why should I?
Se, this is what confuses me the most about people, they never seem to make up their minds about anything. Ironical it seems that the zenith of creation has no sense of this cosmos nowadays. Being indulged in self-glorification and mutual loathing we have lost a sense of our living. I cannot claim for myself that I do not suffer as such. Each and every one of us suffers the same and we cannot resaize this fact. We are kites that have been cut off and are flying randomly and restlessly in every direction.
I let people in only to find sorrows and loneliness, sometimes even in their presence. It's a plethora of words that keep intact in my head but only a handful that I actually say. I ave searched and found that nobody but me can actually give myself happiness. Nobody! Everybody makes promises and then eventually breaks them unknown to the fact that the person the made it to would soon lose their faith in the word 'PROMISE'. I relate more to fictional characters than to human beings, I believe more in the words of Itachi Uchiha than I would to my friends'. I get more comfortable listening to the lyrics of Eminem than I would be listening to my best friend. I understand Gregory House better than I understand my teachers.
I feel as if I have grown older than my age requires me to and yet I portray myself as a child. I do all this because I've seen how people change, how even your parents do not trust you or judge you for som mistake that everyone makes or because you could not get into an IIT or some other reputed college and one of their friends' son or daughter is their. how your parents seem to ignore the fact that you put your all into it and yet you failed, and instead of sympathy you get taunts and insults, I have seen this. Most people don't know this because I am an eccedentesiast.
Well, this is all I do, losing faith in humanity with each passing day, because at the end i know EVERYBODY LIES!
All my heart seems to grow cold and all my happiness seems to be drained out of my heart just like water flowing through a muslin cloth leaving only the dirt behind. And I cling on to that dirt, just like many people cling on to their hope never to let go. It is strange to see how we let people to see our darkest sides as well as our joyous one, how we let them in, start loving them and ultimately end up getting hurt by them. Mostly, people tell me that it is all a part of life. But then i question myself if I have to feel sad, why should someone else be the reason for it. Am I not responsible for all that goes on in my life?
It's as if the dementors of loneliness have started sucking out my soul and I cannot seem to produce my PATRONUS CHARM! We all love solitude, let's face it; we all get to know ourselves better and have peace when we are all by ourselves. i most certainly do. Te problem I have is that people have always comforted me with words of warmth of always being with me, however, when the time has come all I have seen by my side is the abundance of darkness and blank spaces. My life has been full of voids that are yet to be filled and y e very behavior of people towards me, I question whether they will ever fill or not. And that has led me to isolate myself from this society of HOMO SAPIENS. I've seemed to have found more peace with a dog, with my basketball and my football than I ever could with another being of the same existence.
I all of a sudden, need more elbow room and fewer encumbrances of the human emotions and much more of ME! And people tell me it's good; which I already seem to know. The fact that I don't get is that the same people tell me to socialize more often. Why should I?
Se, this is what confuses me the most about people, they never seem to make up their minds about anything. Ironical it seems that the zenith of creation has no sense of this cosmos nowadays. Being indulged in self-glorification and mutual loathing we have lost a sense of our living. I cannot claim for myself that I do not suffer as such. Each and every one of us suffers the same and we cannot resaize this fact. We are kites that have been cut off and are flying randomly and restlessly in every direction.
I let people in only to find sorrows and loneliness, sometimes even in their presence. It's a plethora of words that keep intact in my head but only a handful that I actually say. I ave searched and found that nobody but me can actually give myself happiness. Nobody! Everybody makes promises and then eventually breaks them unknown to the fact that the person the made it to would soon lose their faith in the word 'PROMISE'. I relate more to fictional characters than to human beings, I believe more in the words of Itachi Uchiha than I would to my friends'. I get more comfortable listening to the lyrics of Eminem than I would be listening to my best friend. I understand Gregory House better than I understand my teachers.
I feel as if I have grown older than my age requires me to and yet I portray myself as a child. I do all this because I've seen how people change, how even your parents do not trust you or judge you for som mistake that everyone makes or because you could not get into an IIT or some other reputed college and one of their friends' son or daughter is their. how your parents seem to ignore the fact that you put your all into it and yet you failed, and instead of sympathy you get taunts and insults, I have seen this. Most people don't know this because I am an eccedentesiast.
Well, this is all I do, losing faith in humanity with each passing day, because at the end i know EVERYBODY LIES!
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